Forbidden
by Azul-the-Kitsune
Summary: Edward Elric has always wanted somebody he could never have, but will all that change?
1. Chapter 1

Alright, this story is not likely to be updated much. If it gets really popular, I might discontinue another story of mine, but for now, VERY few updates. Also, Im sort of unfamiliar with the Full Metal Alchemist universe. I have watched one full episode of the show (the one with the girl who dresses like a paper boy) and own numbers 2 and 3 of the manga (I have read number one). I love everything about it that I know. Please please PLEASE do not scream at me if I get something wrong with this! I only started to get into it about three days ago (Easter bunny gave me manga)

Also this is YAOI! If you don't like it, go away. Shoo! Shoo!

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Edward Elric awoke, his lover beside him. The room the two shared had wooden floors, white walls, and many windows allowing the new day's sunlight in. His lover continued to rest. Ed place his right arm over his lover and stroked him gently to wake him. His lover's dark eyes opened as Ed placed his head upon his lover's chest. His lover pulled Ed into a hug, and soon after into a kiss. Edward smiled, all he had ever wanted he had.

To bad it was all a dream.

Edward Elric awoke, for real this time, alone in his bed, with not a single person beside him. He was in the same room as he was in his dream, but rather than one large bed for two people, there were two separate beds. One for Edward, and another for his younger brother, Alphonse. Ed had insisted Alphonse got a bed, though he could not feel physically. To him, Alphonse was a human being, not just a soul in armor.

This was a house, or rather fort, where many state alchemists were being held for protection from the alchemist hating Ishvarlan known as Scar. The government did now want to risk so many alchemist's lives. They had already seen Scar's power from what happened to Shou Tucker, the sewing life alchemist, and his innocent daughter, as well as his dog.

Ed had hated Shou for what he had done to Nina and Alexander, not to mention his wife, but Nina had not deserved to die.

She was too innocent to be cut off during her adolescence.

Edward shivered. Hardly one positive thing had crossed his path ever since Nina's death. Not only was he struggling to comprehend the negativity caused by alchemy, he also struggled with his personal feelings of passion for somebody he could not have.

"Big brother, you should get up now. Everyone's already eaten, you slept in." came the voice of Alphonse. Ed had forgotten Alphonse was in the room, and also had forgotten his stomach.

"Okay Al, tell them Im coming and to leave some food for me, okay?" Edward answered.

"Um..."

"What?"

"I don't know if there is any food left..." Alphonse answered, afraid of sending Edward into one of his fits of rage. Unfortunately, Alphonse's fears came true as Ed began to yell about how if the government was going to make them stay in the fort they should make sure everyone gets food. Alphonse sighed, but at the same time felt relieved. Edward had been so down lately, and his fit of rage was a sign he was getting back to normal.

Alphonse did not realize how wrong he was.

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I hope you liked this. Im sorry if I got a lot of stuff wrong. If I did, just let me know and I will try to get it right in the next chapter. Im not really sure when this would take place, but it's ALL based on the manga. Im going to start watching the show hopefully, but it's not on till midnight so I usually can't.

REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

Tivo... it's a wonderful invention. I am now using it to record every Full Metal Alchemist episode that comes on adult swim. Which is only once a week... damn. Oh well, better than nothing. Yay, I got two reviews and no flames!

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Edward dragged himself from bed and dressed himself. As he entered the dining area of the fort, he saw that Alphonse was correct, there indeed was, no food left. Ed angrily stormed about the fort, him and his stomach still desperate to find something to eat.

Then he saw it, a single plate of food! Some pancakes! Just sitting there on a table as if screaming, "Eat Me!" Edward practically jumped at the food, and just as he was about to sit down and devour the food, somebody did it before him.

It was Roy Mustang, the flame alchemist. The very person Edward loved so much. Edward was torn between forcefully placing his foot upon Roy's rear end and forcing him to get away from his food, and just walking away and finding some other innocent victim with food.

The Elric sighed and sat down in the chair next to Roy. Roy glanced at Ed, and just as he was about to sink his form into the delicious plate of breakfast drowning in syrup, Edward stopped him by saying, "Uh... Colonel?"

The colonel set his fork beside his plate. "Yes Full Metal?"

Edward had been about to ask him to share his pancakes, then decided against it. If he asked, Colonel Mustang would probably tell him to go away and find his own food. Besides, it would make him look weak like he couldn't find his own food. Edward's stomach growled.

"...nothing. Never mind." Edward replied as he got up and began to exit. The Colonel had noted the growling of Edward's stomach and knew what he wanted.

"You can have one of my pancakes if you want." Colonel Mustang told his subordinate. At first, Ed wanted to say no, just because he would look weak, but a meal was a meal, and he was hungry. Edward turned and nodded, fetched himself a fork and plate, and ate one of Colonel Mustang's pancakes as he sat next to him, hoping nobody was watching.

Edward finished his food rapidly, embarrassed to be seen eating with him. The Colonel was the object of his desire, and the elder Elric could feel himself turning red. The moment he finished, he quickly thanked Roy Mustang, and ran off.

He sat in the room assigned to him and Alphonse. The younger Elric spent most of his time there, to avoid being asked about his knight 'costume'. It was just easier that way.

"Ed, is something wrong, you've been acting really different lately." Alphonse asked his older brother.

"Yeah, but it really isn't anything Al. Just don't worry about it." Edward lied to his brother.

"Big brother, it might be more than you think. If it's making you feel so sad, it must be something bigger than you're telling me because something little wouldn't make you feel so hurt." Ed gave a small groan. He might as well tell his brother, he would probably find out anyway.

"I'll tell you Al, but you can not tell anybody for anything, understand?" Alphonse, being the loyal little brother he was, nodded.

Edward thought for a moment, thinking of how he could word this so his brother would not ne so shocked. He eventually decided on saying, "Al, Im gay and in love with Colonel Mustang."

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I updated faster than I thought I would, and while I may not update much in the future, it will be more often than I thought it would be since I finished one of my stories. Review if you read this (I don't mind if you just say 'I read this'). Remember, I love constructive criticism!


	3. Chapter 3

Rewrite time! Thanks for being constructive with your reviews! The beginning of the chapters kind of the same, but the rest is different. The OOCness is still there.

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Al looked as though he had just been hit by a sixteen wheeler truck. He had never thought that about his big brother, especially not that he felt that way about Colonel Mustang. He always thought him and the Colonel hated each other. Despite these feelings, the younger Elric knew his brother needed him to be understanding.

Edward kept his silence, not knowing whether Alphonse would have one his rare angry moods, or understand as he usually did.

"Big Brother..." Alphonse was about to give his high maintenance older brother some advice, but didn't know how. Love was feeling Alphonse was familiar with, but not in the same way as Ed was having trouble with. He had felt love towards his family and friends, but not how Edward was.

Not only that, but Ed's love was a problem. If he told anybody, and if the government disliked the two alchemist's love, they could simply revoke his state license. Plus, the Colonel might not have accepted Ed's love. For once, Alphonse could not help his brother.

"Im sorry big brother, but I don't know what to do." Alphonse hung his head.

"It's okay Al, it's not your job to solve my problems. It's not your fault, just promise me you won't tell anybody, okay?" Edward said to his brother.

"I won't." Alphonse answered, reassured of Edwards brotherly love by his words. Edward gave Alphonse a fake smile that looked just real enough for Alphonse to think he felt better. Alphonse wanted his brother to feel better so badly, even the slightest hint of improved feelings from his brother reassured him.

Edward picked up his red cloak and put it on. "Im going to walk around for a while to clear my head, will you be okay here?" he asked Al.

"I'll be just fine brother." Al answered, had he been in his human body, he would have been smiling. So Edward departed from the room.

As Edward walked, he thought about how sad his young brother looked when he had been unable to help him. This made him feel terrible. All he seemed to do was cause problems. He wandered, not knowing where his feet would lead him.

Al was growing more bored by the second. Ever since this Scar person came around, there was so much security upon the alchemist's lives, that there was nothing to do. Tired of staring at the walls, Al rose up and left the room. His brother had been gone for some time, so maybe he could catch up with him.

Hall after hall, room after room Alphonse searched. Unable to find his brother, Alphonse decided it would be best to turn around and go back to the room. Maybe Ed had already returned. The young Elric turned to go back, until he heard somebody calling for him, "Alphonse Elric, I have to talk to you."

Alphonse looked at the speaker, it was Colonel Roy Mustang. Whatever he desired, it couldn't have been a good thing for the younger of the two brothers. Maybe he'd done something wrong, or there was only room for state alchemists left in the fort because there were so many, and he was going to be kicked out. His high pitched voice shook,

"Y-yes colonel?" he asked, tempted to turn and run.

"I wanted to talk to you about Fullmetal." Alphonse was relieved he was not in trouble, but now worried his older brother may have been. The Colonel continued, "He has been acting strange lately. You two are very close, so you must know what's going on."

Al knew very well what was going on, and though he was honest, he was also loyal to his brother and intent about keeping his promise. "Nothing is going on Colonel."

"Something must be going on. He is acting suspicious, and with all the murders, I need to keep a close watch on the military because you never know when there is a traitor among you. If there's too much suspicion around him, he could have all means of protection taken away from him, and that would mean you as well."

Had Alphonse been made of flesh and bone rather than metal, he would have been sweating from the pressure. He had two choices, either tell the truth and break his promise, or say nothing and be doomed.

He didn't know what to do.

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Okay, that should be better. I can't thank you enough person who reviewed with constructive criticism (Im not using your username since rules say you can't reply to reviews).

Hooray for cliffhangers!


	4. Chapter 4

If you didn't read the last chapter's rewrite, then you will have no idea what's going on so you kinda have to read it. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Beware of the OOCness!

Anyway, I just bought numbers four and five of the manga. It was so sad when Hughes died :( I liked him :( He's going to be alive in this story though. Kay?

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Alphonse grew more nervous as the moments went on, with the Colonels dark eyes staring at him, waiting for an answer.

"My brother's just stressed that's all. Nothing to worry about!" Alphonse answered. Luckily the Colonel bought the excuse.

"Alright, I understand. Just make sure he gets his rest, okay?"

"Yes Colonel Mustang." As Roy walked away Al sighed with relief. He had almost revealed his big brother's secret, but had managed to give an answer without doing so. Alphonse felt bad about lying, but it wasn't really lying, right? I mean, Ed was stressed.

Edward was back at the room, but Alphonse was not. Edward decided this was a good thing. Yes, a very good thing. Nobody there to stop him.

Edward removed his crimson cloak and rolled the sleeve of his onyx colored shirt up to his elbow. This revealed many scars. Some recent, some a bit older. For some time, whenever the stress and worry was to much, Edward Elric would repeat this ritual to make himself feel better.

He removed a single blade from his pocket Without a pause, he allowed the blade to glide across his flesh. Dark red liquid poured from the wound. This made Edward smile.

Yes, young Edward Elric was a cutter.

Perhaps what had caused Edward to do this was being thrown into an adult's world at a young age. A dog of the military was no position for a fifteen year old to hold, and yet, there he was. Edward Elric, Fullmetal alchemist. Perhaps the loss of his mother had caused this behavior.

Whatever it was that originally caused the pain, Edward did not want to stop this anytime soon.

He saw it as a way of punishment. He felt he had let everyone down. If only he had arrived at Shou Tucker's lab sooner, he would have saved Nina. If only he hadn't been stupid enough to try human transmutation. If only he hadn't included Alphonse in his plans.

If only.

"BROTHER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

Edward turned, the blood trailing down his arm to see the suit of armor containing his younger brother's soul standing in the doorway.

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...and we're right where we left off before I rewrote anything. My doggy died today... she got hit by a truck. Im really upset about it. That makes four people either related to me or in my family that have died this year, and three last year. I guess that's the downside to having so many relatives. I never met the three people who died this year in my life, so I wasn't to upset about it. It was all in one week that they died. I felt really bad for my dad because he knew them all (obviously... it was his aunt uncle and cousin).

Sorry... I think that A.N. thing was even longer than the chapter. Sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

Im really sorry... but Im not going to continue this story. I just don't know what to do with it. Im really sorry, I'll write more RoyxEd but this one's dead for now. Sorry.


	6. Chapter 6

Yep, Im writing more :) Had a bit of nostalgia when I read some of my reviews and read the story. I still don't think I'll finish, since my poor Tsubasa fans have been so patient and I am not a fan of this story myself, but yeah. This chapter's here XD Im also now up to date with FMA, so if I get something wrong you can scream at me all you want :D Just keep in mind when I started this it was 12:30 in the morning!

(Btw you still do get that other Roy+Ed story I mentioned, seeing as it's about 60 done)

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Swiftly, Edward wiped away as much of the blood that coated his flesh arm as he could. It was no use. The wound continued to bleed, leaving more of the garnet colored liquid in it's place. Panicking as he realized this was no good, he threw his cloak on. "Er, what do you mean Al? Im not doing anything." He managed to stutter.

Alphonse ripped the blade from his brother's palm. "Im not stupid Nii-san. I saw what you were doing..." Edward gulped. Blood began to seep through his cloak's left sleeve. "Why would you do that to yourself..." His tone alarmed the older Elric. There was not a hint of rage in it. There was only disappointment. The younger brother seemed to be drowning in his thoughts as his shammed image of his big brother shattered. "Why..."

All this time he had known Edward was not perfect. He was temperamental, rude and stubborn. Yet at the same time, there was an aura of perfection that revolved around his brother. With every human life saved, circle-less transmutation, and overall miraculous deed performed by the elder Elric, an invisible, flawless curtain of deceit grew over the negatives of Edward's image within his younger brother's mind with neither of them knowing it. Now that curtain had been ripped away, torn, and burnt with it's ashes carelessly tossed aside.

Edward's eyes strayed to floor that stood beneath them. The answer was right in front of him, but he couldn't grasp it, only feel it run through his fingers. He knew what it was, he could see it in his head, but why couldn't he form the thoughts into words? Guilt was the main cause and he knew it, but he couldn't say it.

Blood was trickling down the blonde's arm and plunging to the ground. Alphonse seemed to no longer be speaking with Edward, only mumbling to himself, "How could he... what would Mom say... If she were here instead of me he wouldn't be bleeding..." More remorse tugged at the alchemist's heart. For all of this his brother seemed to be blaming himself.

Finally, Edward spoke up, "Al... it's not your fault... Nobody could have prevented it, not even Mom. It's just something that... happened." The suit of armor snapped out of it's daze.

"But you could have." Those four words were the harshest Edward had received from his brother in an entire lifetime. If this went on, the blonde would drown in a pool of guilt for his actions. For a moment, the two stood there in an awkward silence. The shock of seeing his big brother do this himself had worn off slightly, and the youngest Elric managed to retrieve some bandages from a first aid box. Wordlessly, he wound the thick strips of material around the wound as it's bleeding gradually decreased. Even when how his perception on the most precious person to him had come crashing down, he was still the same caring Alphonse Elric.

Not much later, somebody knocked at the door. As the last bit of the bandage secured around Edward's arm and wrist, the Elric stood up and swung the door open, nearly choking with fear when he saw who was behind it.

It was Roy Mustang.

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Short because it's 1:45 AM and Im getting tired... while I was writing I was sort of reading at the same time... Im writing more, but it probably won't be done for a loooooooong time.

Thank you for all your reviews :) They are what really convinced me to continue.


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